Conquering your goals requires a steadfast - bull’s eye focus. It requires TENACITY . But in here lies the rub.
The strength of ones tenacity is only as strong as the past experiences of the one trying to implement its power. What do I mean?
Let me explain;
I mentioned in part I that I’ve been blessed to have realized most of the goals and dreams that I’ve been the most passionate about pursuing. Now why is that? Simply, because I was willing to do the work it takes for one to literally transform one’s mind.
I’ve actually spent years of my life, attending to strengthening the positive development of the tenacious side of my precious mental muscle. I did so by feeding it - through reading books on the topic of my spiritual truth, on motivation in general and the stories of successful people.
I exercised it by spending time working my way through gut wrenching journaling exercises - where I recorded and faced my deepest thoughts, fears, and feelings.
Then, I also nurtured it by training myself to recognize when it was necessary for me to take a step back. I did so in order to relax, release, refresh, and rejuvenate the mental process. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid all out ‘burn out’ and remain fresh by protecting my creative side. It was then and only then, that I was able to confidently approach each new goal, each new aspiration with the strength of the tenacity that I had been continuing to build upon, from the previous success.
-POSITIVE RESULTS BREEDS MOTIVATION –
Each time we set our sites on a goal (be it any and everything from weight loss to securing a new career) and we allow ourselves to quit before we get there, we actually achieve the opposite of what we say we want. When we continue down this path, we literally weaken our mental "sticktuativness", i.e. our TENACITY! Each time we start and THEN ALLOW OURSELVES TO STOP, we actually teach ourselves to Do Just That. We skillfully begin to teach ourselves to QUIT! DO it again, and again and with each bail out it gets a little easier to say “ I quit , so count me out” now doesn't it?
Keep dabbling with this wishy - washy mentality and before you know it, like a weakened immune system that can't even fight off a measly cold - you've woefully reduced your mental muscle to mush.
Your Tenacity actually weakens. Like a muscle we don't use, it slowly atrophies and with enough of this behavior behind you, come your next fight…you'll end up limping away from the battle once again with your mental capabilities to achieve, tucked between your legs - too weak to stand, much less fight.
This is sad, but a strong reality for many. It’s also a down right shame because sticking with it or just calling it quits is actually - pretty much, (outside of an act of GOD)….completely and utterly up to you.
When it comes to training our mental muscle, we are our professor and our precious minds (our believe system about ourselves is your class room).
Whether we realize it or not, every day you are either feeding, nurturing, and/or strengthening one side of this equation or the other…there is no neutral ground . You either teach yourself to ‘Bring IT’...or to ‘Bail’.
You're also the one who allows each set back to either make you ‘Bitter’ or ‘Better’. This is what many people tend to miss. You are constantly, daily even... teaching yourself either to believe deep down in your heart (where no one else really sees but you and God Himself), that you are someone who has the character, the mental fortitude and the resilience to achieve your goals or you're feeding the side of your brain that deceptively tricks you into believing that because you've had a few self appointed bail outs …that you're not like those “extraordinary ones” who always seem to just get the job done. It’s easier to tell yourself they apparently have a set of skills outside of your reach and “good for them”, but that’s just not you, right? No my friends, nothing could be further from the truth.
"But what about environment - doesn't it play a role here in a shaping behaviors and attitudes"?
Well if you're asking, chances are you're most likely not going to like what I have to say about our environment’s ability to shape us one way or another. But like it or not, the facts here are undeniable, though many would beg to differ. All too often, their opposing positions tend to come from folks who have their own experiences to the contrary. However, that doesn't change the facts.
Yes, of course our environment will have an affect on us, but only to the degree we allow! No more and no less. End of story. In other words, we MUST deal with our past and then MOVE ONWARD AND UPWARD.
Choosing to live with one foot in the past will do nothing more than create just enough negative force to keep you from getting where you really want to go.
Our past is behind us. It’s our responsibility to live our adult lives as ones who now makes their own decisions and choices based on their present situation. If we continue to make bad choices while insisting on blaming them on our past, then we are above all most to be pitied. Why? Because our choices will be destructive and living destructively because of what HAS happened, but no longer actually currently exists …is simply an unnecessary child like action that we’re then deciding to take. In short, it’s a slightly more sophisticated adult version of an all out child like tantrum.
When we’re adults, we take on the responsibility to live as such. That means we can chose to accept the things we cannot change, to change the things that we can and to keep moving forward.
Not Einstein like I know, but in a nut shell, that’s the crux of it. You know it’s funny, but when I write on this matter, or I speak about it…I'm often told, "Oh, but Candace, I can't do things like that. I mean I know you do, but YOU'RE JUST DIFFERENT"! Nothing infuriates me more. Yeah, I'm different alright, but my early experiences are not exactly in favor of often having the mental sticktuativeness to come out on top.
In other words, I know from where I speak and that’s all you need to know. IF I can achieve good things in this adult life, you CERTAINLY CAN TOO!
However, as I clearly lay out earlier, it does take work and I've taught myself to at least fight the good fight.
NO, I don't always win. Nobody does and if we did, we’d all walk around like a bunch of arrogant jerks and we’d never learn a thing. But, overall…when it’s all said and done, you’ll end up either feeling as though you are a fighter and a winner or a quitter and a failure. Most likely, you’ll carry one of these ideas about yourself throughout your entire lifetime, unless you decide to change it now. In other words folks, you can override "the system" so to speak. I have and You Can TOO!
Ever seen the stories of the moguls mentioned in the "Forbes’ Magazine"? Each year, at least a handful describe being told that they'd amount to NOTHING by their parents, peers, or siblings or they’ve experienced much worse indeed. They’ve become some of the most powerful people on the planet. Yes, environment has much to do with our belief system about ourselves, but if we don't play into it, it can EASILY be over turned and often, those who have been put down the most often rise to become the leaders of nations.
So, come this New Year’s Eve, what’s it going to be? When the ball drops in Time Square, will you utter another half hearted resolution that’s really nothing more than a meaningless stab in the dark? Or will you follow the suggestions laid out here and do the work necessary to give yourself a fighting chance to live the life you’ve really always wanted?
Everyday I am in awe at the life that I have been blessed to be living. Many of you know of my physical struggles but they pale in comparison to the unspeakable joys that are a part of this incredible life that God has allowed me to experience on this earth….simply because I listened to Him about this matter. I can only suggest you consider the same.
Life is way too precious and way to short to be walking around with a heart full of regrets and broken dreams. Living that way is to deny your soul the ability to sore! Yes - we were intended to live this life with all the energy of our FULL POTENTIAL! Why not start with spending some quality time attending to and strengthening your mental muscle. DO that first and the possibilities will be ENDLESS!
Until Next time,
(I'm off to what used to be a dream, a goal I was working on...and now, my ocean front condo is a reality. This stuff works folks....it works if you work it)! Aloha