Candace's Favorite Things

Monday, November 28, 2011

MONDAY'S MOTIVATIONAL MINUTE, "In this Life, We Find What We Look For"!

Well, it’s the Monday after Thanksgiving and I can’t help but wonder how you fared?

Physically; I’m wondering if you were able to be reasonable with your food intake and still have a good time. Spiritually; I’m curious if you were able to be present enough, in the face of all the hustle and bustle, to pause and reflect on how thankful we have cause to be and lastly, emotionally. “Emotionally” you ask? Sure, because holidays can bring out the best and the worst in many people and unfortunately, we’re often the undeserving recipients of their unstable ‘wacky world of drama’.
You know these people. They have an arsenal of stuff that they tend to hold back, make up, or just plain “don’t mind if they do”! When stressed, they’ll frequently choose to unleash their less than ‘pleasing disposition’, upon whom ever lands in front of them; Thus leveling many before, during and after Thanksgiving dinner and throughout the entire Holiday Season, much to our dismay. If they’re family, well more often than not, we'll find ourselves nursing the self- inflicted pain
we've endured, due to bitting our tongues in an attempt to keep the peace till the Holiday passes and our relatives have left. This little display however, did not fall into that category and I must admit that I chose to share my disgust (in the victim’s defense) with a quick little ‘drive by type’ verbal blow. I chastised the guilty and I have to admit, this one felt SO right, that if felt so good (and I live by the rule…”HOLD YOUR TONGUE and you’ll never regret it”)…this one folks, this one needed to be handled and I was happy to complete the job. I held the line for the people who serve us and I was glad I did.

The assault; this display of ‘trash talking’ was small when measuring degrees of ‘holiday hedonism’ but no less disgusting a display as any larger offense, as all are equally grotesque, AMEN?

I was at the movie theater window box (you know, where you walk up and purchase your tickets), when this occurred and afterwards, I was immediately convicted to commit it to writing and post it here for you. It was one of those digging, demeaning, little passive aggressive displays of nasty verbiage, that makes one's skin crawl…and obviously, (probably from my own dealings with Holiday stress), got me fired enough so that I took a stand the bullied among us.
My husband and was kind enough to drive my mother home to NY, and would spend the evening with his family on the way back and return today – Monday. He could more easily take Monday off than I could and as always, he was happy to help me out. So, in the vernacular of the day, he did me a ‘solid’ as they say, and I owe him one. Actually I owe him tons. That man’s love has literally saved my life. But alas, yes a teaser once again…. that’s for another post.... Moving on.

So , since it was Sunday I took the day off (as I always like to TRY to do),and finished decorating our house for Christmas, worshipped… and told my daughter I’d meet her for an afternoon movie.

That’s when it happened. Just enough sleaze to make you go, “YUCK”!

Kaggin had driven her own car and was at the theater before me. We decided she’d go ahead, buy her ticket and meet me in the theater, ensuring that we’d have decent seats. I parked my car after circling the ramp enough times to make my vertigo hit full tilt and had just walked up to the box office to purchase my ticket when I heard it….

BUT FIRST - a quick disclaimer - My husband, my daughters and I all feel that those who work jobs that deal with the public in service oriented positions need extra TLC. So I am, we all are, extra sensitive to the rudeness we so unfortunately are privy to when it’s being hurled at them in an abusive manner. All of us, myself leading the pack, have our anti up and set for high frequency when it comes to such displays of abuse so there you go. This falls into the” I’m just saying” category for good measure – now back to the offense at hand.

It was my turn at the window. After waiting in a rather long line, I moved forward as the attendant, a lovely young woman, said “Next” and motioned me forward. At the same time, the attendant from the second window, motioned  for the man who was standing behind me to step up and we stood there side by side, purchasing our tickets. I smiled at her and we quickly exchanged Holiday niceties as she took my special movie club card from me and then my credit card. Both employees were doing their job and really rather efficiently at that. I had a break in my conversation while my ticket was being printed and that’s when I heard it. The nice looking young male attendant was also noticeably smiling, while doing his best to do the job he was trained for asked the customer if he had one of the club cards that I had already presented,  The man said no, but instead of adding a “no thank you” in an attempt to be pleasant at this young man's obvious attempt to do his job well , he chose to let his disgust be known by using a rather aggressive tone and gesture to match and said, “ NO …now let’s move it along…just MOVE IT ALONG”!!! Not only I, the kind attendant trying to help this man and the young woman helping me heard this, but the entire crowd standing directly behind me were forced to get in on the act as well….leading to more embarrassment on the part of the employee to be sure. Most weak people feel the need to be seen and heard, no matter how they pull it off. This more than obviously fits well here.

As she passed my tickets to me, we locked eyes as the man did this a second time. His offense this time?He was doing a quick review of the movie, the number of tickets and the show time of the movie he was purchasing his tickets for. In short, he was diligently repeating his order to insure a proper purchase on his Visa.....


As I leaned in to take the tickets, I tipped  my head and cut my eyes toward the other attendant and whispered, “UNBELIEVABLE. he did a great job dealing with that” ! She reached over and pulled the sleeve of his shirt ,whispered something to him.He looked at the floor, then up at me and smiled BIG!

The guy walked right into the theater with his family (young men in the making I might add. Great behavior to emulate there dad…), and the second his stubs were torn, they all ran off towards their theater destination….and man was left walking alone in their direction.

While I am a runner by trade, I can do a mean power walk and I got my stub and pushed it in my 5 inch heals till I was right beside him. Here was my chance. He was on my right….alone and I was approaching the entrance to the ladies room quickly on my left. This was the exit I intended to take after my scolding had been accomplished. I was on a mission and I was timing it just right. If his children had stayed at his side I never would have said a word…but this big bully was alone and as I swept up beside him, with my outside voice I caught his attention and with 12 short words…I did my good deed for the day (or at least in my mind anyway), “ Dude, (I called him dude…whatever),  REALLY DUDE? You have to act that way…REALLY, WOW…PROUD?” and I exited left into the ladies room. It had been accomplished and I was done with it.

I was left with a feeling of sadness. Now, even during what is to supposedly the kindest most generous time of year, we abuse our service attendants and many others (in this one's case I would BET ON IT!) Why? Unfortunately, I can only pray that this man will stop just once to consider his behavior,  reflect on it, repent and make a concerted effort to attempt to do better. This is what we are all called to!
So, what’s my point for this offering of “Mondays Motivational Minute”, which has turned into more like 5 as far as your reading time?

Again…in this life we find what we look for. This man wanted to see a pain of a long line and a useless "beneath him" employee as difficult and in the way of his enjoyment. Totally “ME” centered. In doing so, he made sure he made himself, (in his eyes only I assure you) a BIG MAN WITH A WALLET TO PROVE IT! To the rest of us who heard this? He was a very little man of little character(at least at that moment), and an obviously broken ego. Truly the quote “A man all wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle” is fitting here. His children had no want to stay by his side and converse with their dad on their way to enjoy the movie. He walked in …ALONE!

WE all make mistakes. It’s whether or not we are broken over them later that tells our inner truth. If we can lay someone out like this and walk away feeling justified, never to repent or feel remorse…we need help and authentic Godly guidance.

SO, through the rest of this stressful Holiday season…let’s choose to see the good in all things.

I was blessed to see choose to see two young people just starting out in life. Both giving it their all and doing a very good job in a highly stressful situation. Though being abused by many I’m sure these two continued to  smile and to serve their patrons with dignity throughout the day. I felt PROUD. Each question they asked was pertinent to their job at hand and what that "malignant man" CHOSE TO SEE was merely annoying questions eating up his time and a mediocre job being done at best.Why? Because in that moment he had one concern...himself and NOBODY ELSE

AGAIN, in this life….we will find what we look for. Choose your findings with the high road in mind and make a conscious choice to lift others up while doing so . Do this and I promise - you will be Blessed beyond compare!

Thank you for letting me take some extra time with ‘YOUR TIME’ this evening or whenever you find this article and read it. I felt led to share this with you.

May Blessing abound for you and your entire family, both now and throughout this entire Holiday season and while you’re feeling joyful, why not share the love. Hey, try it even when your NOT!

Until tomorrow…



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