Candace's Favorite Things

Monday, July 26, 2010


Wednesday July 28TH 3:15 AM
I didn't sleep "again" last night. How about you? Truth be told, I often don't NOW...'sleep' that is. What I do know for sure is that this too, when the doctors get through with me, will also most likely have a name..a syndrome possibly or a complication of accidents or neck and head trauma...I'm getting pretty good at getting the diagnosis right before they are finished poking me, draining my blood and tapping and wrapping me all about!!! It's kind of become a little game. Hey you have to find the humor where you can. I'm thinking of calling it "beat them to the diagnosis". Think Milton/Bradley would be interested? probably not. Too negative a connotation. Oh well. As soon as my docs are ready to "name it and claim it" and call it a day, I'll share that with you then too. I'm joking because I need to, but really this is getting rough. So before we have a name for it to add to the list, I'm doing my best to stay UP and tongue in check with my existence of late. SO, I'm gonna say that for me, FOR ME mind you..."sleep is highly over rated and I'll just see how productive I can be between 2:45 AM and 5 AM when the rest of the 'RESTED' world wakes and starts bugging me! If you've been reading since day one,(yeah, I wish), "full disclosure" is my motto. I promised though, that I'll disclose things that will shock and amaze... I'll do my best to only do so in such a way as to not intentionally blow away those involved, not excluding myself .Having said that, you gotta know that when it starts hitting the fan, kind as I can be, COMPLETELY truthful and disguised with false names and places..I'm gonna get, (in many cases..), Kicked in the teeth again. I'm ready. I've learned that when that happens, it's just not about me!!! you know what i mean? I mean really, if you did something, you did it, please don't shoot me in the foot again, but if you must, I'll still smile when I see you!
SO, The body of this work that I am sharing, the stories , or my Memoirs if you will, of the things I have experienced on this journey, are intended to be honest and fair and entertaining.
Because, truth be told, NOBODY has been more blown away by the unexpected twists and hairpin turns ( often taken on two wheels), that this path I chose, or that was chosen for me rather, than the one who is writing to you now. What I REALLY didn't expect, were the myriad of physical challenges that have continued to come to test this "FITNESS DIVA", including this new little 'NO SLEEP' wave that I'm rocking out and riding hard! When I look at it as one big picture I find it all more than slightly comically ironic. I mean really, the life of a "Fitness" pro, being lived out in a body that makes ME often struggle to get out of bed like a 95 year old man about to meet his maker! This 21 year fitness career started out to be just that. I took the idea that I'd always been athletic, combined with my intense and dedicated participated in an extreme sport for most of my formative years, I swam tons, danced,was a musician, it all made I thought, "FITNESS" as a career path! Yeah, NUTRITION and fitness "plain old fitness", where I'd teach people techniques to eat healthy and fun and exciting ways to get and stay healthy and fit. How quickly it turned into something I'd NEVER planned on educating myself to participate in! The stuff I've been dealing with wasn't found in a physiology book. NOPE there wasn't a graph for Affairs and Addictions and Suicides and Jail Sentences...MIND YOU I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT ME..THESE ARE MY CLIENTS! So now, I begin to share with you all about what my days are really like, not only dealing in THAT CRAZY CRAPOLA...I have a nickname for the world I come home from every day...I walk in the door of my sanctuary of a home and announce,"Well, I'm home from BIZZARO WORLD", (Sinfield fans will get that one). I also used to hide my illness. NOW, there's a plural tense of that word, I believe, but I'm not sure...ah heck I'm just not sure's that for honesty? I used to think that my clients and the world I operate in daily, needed to see nothing but strength..well, over time and with age, wisdom and enough illness to really not be able to hide it, I'm sharing that too.
SO, this morning, I thought..Candace, let them know about this new development that you and your docs figure out. Let them know that yes, I've been dealing with illness my entire adult life, but things went NUTS almost 6 years ago now,many things were altered in my overall health, now is the added fact that By 2:45 this morning and yesterday too, I decided to give up on the idea of sleep and decided it was time to get on with my day.Time to wash my hair, (boy did it need folks will understand),you can only wear a baseball cap for so long before surgical instruments need to be used to remove it form your head! Then I did a bunch of things for work, after my first order of business...reading my daily devotional and journaling. Without starting my day with the creator of the universe,I'm pretty much sunk! Oh, I can get by, but I quickly lose my pleasing disposition! After doing so, I felt the call to drop you just a quick “morning's word of encouragement and motivation”.My next thought was, "hey, that's not next on the blog agenda list of things to write"..., followed by, "What agenda? I feel called to share this, there are some folks out there who can relate, write it and the rest will fall into place", I've learned to listen to that still small voice. While I have made no secret about the fact that I hope to make "Memoires of a Fitness Diva" eventually into a chronological book format, that will come. When God speaks to us, we can do nothing more brilliant than to listen, so, here, all that I'm writing to you this EARLY MORNING is what I feel called to say. I understand if you don't want to read it. That's the beauty of this country. You, I , we all have a choice. So, if you're interested, a word of encouragement from one who encourages others for a living by telling them, ..YOU...what I tell myself each and everyday. So here's my thoughts as I have dealt with no sleep again and much pain facing me today. I hope it helps you as much as it helps me to keep on pushing to LIVE LARGE.
Today is a NEW day. It's a day that the Lord has made and it's been designed, as each day is, to be unique unto itself. There will never be another sunrise or sunset, exactly like the ones you see this day. With the naked eye and raw child-like emotion, one could say that they may seem so similar, how can we be so in awe and excited to call them all unique? Make no mistake about this fact: Each day that the Lord brings our way is SO intricate and unique; you couldn’t possibly see them as exactly THE SAME! At times, the day breaks with what appears to contain enough troubles to consider for a weeks worth of worry to handle it all, let alone a day. Others, well, others appear to be without difficulty of any kind. Now it's not my nature to burst bubbles, but if we are being real here, even then, look closely enough (if you dare) and you'll find that there’s certainly some junk there. Here’s the beauty and majesty of it all. On your easy days, your "leaving for vacation days", this is a large planet. So many others, thousands of miles away and in other time zones, are waking to a completely opposite experience to face down in the same 24 hour day. I believe STRONGLY that it would behoove us to remember that!!! Some days are still, easily quiet and soothing. Others, well the saying goes, "NOT so MUCH". No matter what the day may bring, it pales in comparison to the Power of the one who MADE THE DAY – the One who provides and equips us to meet the day’s unique emotional and physical demands from dusk till dawn. Whether overflowing with exuberant, unbridled and unexpected joy or flooded with dark and overwhelmingly deep sadness and sorrow, we are equipped to handle it all. Some days are just filled with great comfort. There are days I can only describe as being peppered with grievance and great disappointment. Here’s the part that will blow your mind...Which ever one you are facing..IT'S IRRELEVANT". Each and every day comes with the ability given us to CHOOSE how we will respond!! We are not made to deny our circumstances, not by any means. However, knowing the POWER we have access to, we can choose now as we open our eyes (for just this day and this day alone), how we will receive the blessings that God has in store. The ones to teach us to have more empathy AND sympathy for those who suffer, as well as the ones that bring us great joy that we can share with those all around us by our attitudes of gratitude that are contagious. We are to behave admirably and bring our best, drawing from the ultimate POWER SOURCE despite what may come. We will all do well to go to bed tonight with this in mind: A good day isn't something that either does or doesn't happen TO US. Our Response to every day is the key. I have to interject here, and I'm gonna step on some toes, but there are those who will be saying..."what a wade of crap". Well my friend, you are STUCK! and that too, though I'm sure you don't want to here it, is ALSO a choice you are making! Choose well folks, life lasts like what, about 20 minutes and then it's over. Dear God, why not smile? Oh dear Lord, why not be KIND! FORGIVE! BE PATIENT! LISTEN NOT TALK! Why not? Really just think...why the heck not!? Minus a medical problem, YOU'LL PROBABLY SLEEP BETTER IF YOU DO!!!! If we first wake with thanksgiving in our hearts and determination in our bellies, we'll accomplish much, no matter what. when I am feeling a bit stuck, a little worn out, I remind myself of this quote, it's from the BIBLE of all's been a best seller for a while now, you may have heard of it.... "THIS IS THE DAY THE LORD HAS MADE, LET US REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT"! So, now, what will you choose? The sun is just about to rise, oh it's usually so beautiful this early in the day. You see my friend, you have the ability to decided to choose wisely; to decided how you will receive this day and all that it brings your way. Then, simply stick with your convictions to do as you have planned. You have the power to do so... it lies within your spirit, that which was molded and shaped for you by the power of the One who made the day…Now that’s POWERFUL!! No matter what happens today,that's all I need to know. So, go ahead and ask me now. it's ok. The circumstances are not ideal it's true. I've had no sleep for two days and the third was two and half hours worth. My pain level was off the chain all weekend and I have much to try to accomplish this day. Still, the question remains, "What kind of a day will this be, Candace"? I can say already with confidence, "I'm sure there will be some more challenges, but God allowed me to be SUPER PRODUCTIVE when I couldn't sleep. I also got a lot of work done, just in time to run to the back deck to see the sunrise...all and all, it's looking pretty good so far!" So as you choose, you can have great confidence in your Creator’s ability to give you the strength to rise above it all and to carry you through. A quote for this day and every day, in my opinion, is given by none other than the little green hooded and cloaked guru himself,...YODA! I’m not particularly a fan of the movies but the quote, well the quote is awesome.
At the end of each consultation I do, (having just used ever motivational skill I have up my sleeve to try and pump them up to the possibilities that life holds in store for them)...I hold my breath and I ask this question, “Ok, now we’ve got a plan of action, right? Are you Ready for this?”
Inevitably they answer.... “Well, I’ll give it a try”. ARGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know what that really means? Nothing! It literally means,"well actually Candace, maybe I will, maybe I won't"! I hate that word. "TRY"!
So when you are thinking about whether or not you will or won't do something , give this a shot as you ponder that thought back and forth in the deepest recesses of your mind and see if it doesn't just make a difference in your commitment to follow through with the POWER that's been provided you.
IF you believe this, you will understand how to STAND and CREATE and follow through with a plan of action when the going gets tough.
Much to ponder. Until next time. Be ready for a lesson on how to attack back when the roughest part of the road comes a callin'.
It's the PLAN OF ACTION I've been talking about and when I got
to Hawaii and was still in 'surgery recovery mode' , I didn't TRY to ride over 50 miles
on the Iron Man Highway. I knew that when I had set out, that I'd be back with it finished!
So, get ready and in the mean time, do me a favor if nothing else....lose the word TRY! Do it
or don't, but don't you dare TRY!!!!



  1. candice my heart goes out to you! it took me 3 attempts today to read your entire blog. I truly feel your pain as I live with fibromyalgia and have for 15 yrs.! I dont know how you get thru your day each day.
    much love and hugs to you

  2. Teresa
    Good morning...
    Thank you so much form your warmth and the loving, caring
    Words sent my way. I will think of you often as I write, knowing
    As of corse we already should , that we're never alone.
    There is nothing that we go through in a day that another of our
    Brothers and sisters hasn't already experienced ! My love and words of encouragement and strength right back at you Teresa..
    God's speed,

  3. Great line to be reminded of- Do or Do Not- There is no try. Thanks for reminding me. You'd think after all these years, your wonderful attitude and outlook would rub off on me my friend. No more try- DO! Love ya.